Литвек - электронная библиотека >> Николай Владимирович Лакутин >> Драматургия и др. >> The teacher. A play for 4 people. Comedy >> страница 2
came up to me, we talked. We found a problem.

Ksyusha. So?

Sanek. Well, he said this: "Vibrations after one hundred and thirty on the Frets are a common phenomenon. The problem is, let's say, not of a technical nature.

Ksyusha. And what's going on?

Sanek. The point is playing!

Ksyusha. M… it's cool.

Sanek. Yeah. Something like that.

Ksyusha. So maybe you don't need to drive at that speed? And nothing will play.

Sanek. Yes, in theory, of course it is not necessary. But how not to drive when the car is rushing? If you don't want to, you put pressure on the trigger.

Ksyusha. It's clear. Tell you what, you fucker, get this damn thing out of here somewhere. On the balcony, for example. Wash up and sit down to eat.

Sanek. Oh, no. Thanks, I'm full. I'll take the battery away now.

He takes the battery and takes it to the balcony.

Anna returns.

Ksyusha (shouting). Why did you bring him here? What do you want here? A warehouse?

Sanek (shouting from the balcony). It was just on the way. Let it stand for a while, then I'll take it away if it gets in the way too much.

Ksyusha (shouting). It's already getting in the way! I'm not the only one living here. So, Anya is outraged!

Anna. Xun? Come on, what are you doing? Let him keep it. What problems?

Ksyusha. Yeah, just let the men loose. Turn the balcony into a garage in one fell swoop.

Sanek returns.

Sanek. That's it, I put it in a corner. It's worth it modestly, it doesn't bother anyone. Does it bother you, Anyut?

Anna. I don't.

Sanek. That's fine. Are you sulking, Ksyukha? Let's go to the cinema!

Ksyusha. Yes, it's too early to drive!

Sanek. Come on. Let's go for a walk, wander around. What is there to sit in the apartment? (To Anna). Am I right?

Anna. Sure.

Sanek. Well.

Ksyusha. Oh, listen, Nyur, so can you come with us? And?

Anna. No, no, thanks. I'm tired from work. Even though you work half the day, you get exhausted like in a day and a half. I'm going to rest. You have a great time.

Anna leaves, taking the leftovers from the table with her. Sanek and Ksyusha follow Anna with their eyes. Then they playfully look at each other, start flirting with each other.

Scene 2
The twilight. Ksyusha and Sanek return late in the evening. They whisper and giggle.

Ksyusha (in a whisper). Stop making me laugh, we'll wake up Anya. Did you look at the clock?

Sanek (in a whisper). Yes, it's still a child's time!

Ksyusha (in a whisper). What kind of childish? It's the first hour of the night. We're all quiet.

They're sneaking around quietly. Sanek stumbles, not intentionally stomps loudly a couple of times, catching his balance.

Ksyusha (in a whisper). Sanya, damn it! Did you do it on purpose?

Sanek (in a whisper). Not at all! Stumbled, kid, who doesn't happen to?

Ksyusha (in a whisper). That's it. Shhh!

They're sneaking around. Ksyusha touches some kind of basin, drops it. The roar.

Sanek (in a whisper). Well, which one of us is shh?

Ksyusha (in a whisper). It's your fault! Distracted!

Sanek (in a whisper). Of course, who else.

Ksyusha (in a whisper). All right, quiet!

They're sneaking around.

Anna's voice (in a loud male drawling bass).

Stay where you are!

Don't go any further!

Ksyusha and Sanek flinch, grab each other.

Anna's voice (in a loud male drawling bass).

We can hang around anywhere,

Didn't you walk, on a nice day?

And now in the middle of the night,

How about nothing with a satisfied face?

Sanek (in a whisper). What the hell is this? Ksyukha, are we really in your apartment?

Anna comes out with a staff in her hand, dressed as Santa Claus, which makes Ksusha and Sanek shudder even more.

Anna (in a loud male drawling bass).

Admit it, kids,

Got it in your pants?

That's it! You will now

Go quietly through the door!

Ksyusha (taken aback). Yogurt without a date!

Sanek. Anya, what are you doing?

Anna (in her own voice). Yes, I am, I am. Who else?

Ksyusha (angrily). Hello, Santa Claus, cotton wool beard! Did you bring us gifts, you crooked crook?

Anna (takes off her hat and beard). What hunchback? What kind of gifts? Until the New Year, still oh-go-go!

Ksyusha. Here! That's it, that's it! Why are you dressed up? You pop out in the middle of the night like the devil out of a box in outfits you don't expect. Anka, my heart almost went there, it didn't jump over the battery.

Sanek. Mine, by the way, is also somewhere in the same place. To be honest, at some point I thought that the hour of reckoning had come. That's it, Sledge, jumped back, bounced his own.

Anna. Oh, you've done it, then, in your pants after all?

Ksyusha. Wouldn't you?

Anna. Almost certainly!

Ksyusha. Well, what the hell, then?

Ksyusha stumbles over the pelvis again.

Ksyusha. Damn it, turn on the light already, someone!

The light turns on.

Sanek. Oh, and, really, Santa Claus.

Ksyusha. We are waiting for clarification! Have you gone completely crazy with your job, friend?

Anna. If only a little bit. Actually, they brought us new costumes to the garden. They handed it out to wash and prepare it. Hem it if necessary. And I've had Santa Claus in our garden for how many years! So, they brought me this outfit. You just went out the door, the guard from the kindergarten stopped by and handed it over.

Ksyusha. Why aren't you sleeping? We thought you were asleep. We go quietly, we're afraid to wake up.

Anna. Yeah, I noticed. We tried very hard not to wake them up.

Ksyusha. Anka!

Anna. Anya sells seeds at the bazaar, and I'm Anya!

Ksyusha. Oh, I'm sorry, Anna Andreyevna. May I ask why you are not sleeping at such a late hour, my dear?

Anna. She lay down. I even took a little nap. Then I woke up, decided to try it on, and here you are. Well, then the impromptu happened. Escaped, so to speak!

Ksyusha. Got away from her! Over there, Sanka and I almost broke out too… Something.

Sanek. Kapets, Anya, you are cruel. I had such wonderful plans for the night, and now validol and Jack London.

Ksyusha. It's a setup in general! Sanka tried so hard, he was already ready, I'm on it myself! And then at once the whole mood is in the trash!

Anna. Well, I'm sorry, I didn't plan on it, really. Somehow it all turned out that way. A combination of circumstances.

Ksyusha. Get out of my sight, Santa Claus! Come on, Sanka, let's walk around the house a little more, maybe we'll work up an "appetite", otherwise it's just a shame.

Sanek. Let's go, especially since I need to smoke after this.

Ksyusha. And I could use a drink, too. Maybe to a restaurant?

Sanek. A restaurant? Then I definitely can't do without validol later.

Ksyusha. Understood. Then a budget promenade, and then how it goes.

Sanek. Let's go.

Sanek and Ksyusha leave, Anna (Santa Claus) shrugs guiltily, leaves.

Scene 3
It's late morning.

Sanka's mobile phone rings for a long time. No one is answering.

The phone goes silent and starts ringing again.

A sleepy Sleigh comes out in shorts and a T-shirt. He struggles to open his eyes, trying to find his mobile phone.

The bell stops ringing, the Sleigh falls to the nearest place suitable for rest. He continues to sleep.

His phone rings for the third time.

Sanek. Aye. What the hell! Who needs me this early? People! Have a conscience! There are some basic rules. This is a joke! According to the rules of good manners, it is allowed to call no earlier than eight in the morning. Who is so ill-mannered, and even pushy!!!

He's looking for a phone. He finds it and picks up the phone.

Sanek (into the phone). Hello! (Looks at the caller ID.) Vityukha, he's healthy. Have you looked at your watch? So what do they show? Eleven? (Pause). In the morning? And… (Gets out) No, I'm just like that. I decided to check my own, internal ones. They are lagging behind… Strongly. Something happened? Did you make an agreement? And yes, we agreed. No, I haven't forgotten. And about what? Oh, of course. No, no, no. Everything is in force. Where are you? From me? But I don't have one. Well… yes… Simply… Well, listen, it's a long time to explain. Circumstances. But I'm not far away, wait, we'll figure it out now. (He shouts into the other room.) Ksyusha?

There is no answer.

Sanek (shouts louder). Ksyukha?

Ksyusha (in a sleepy, dissatisfied voice from the other room). What do you need?

Sanek (shouting). Can Vitek come here? We had an agreement to grind something, I overslept, I didn't have time to go home, but he had already arrived. Can he come here already? So that I can do this and that for now… Time. Well, where to? A

pause.

Ksyusha (excitedly from the other room). And what time is it?

Sanek (shouting). Eleven!

Jamming of Ksusha's emotional speech mixed with fragments of phrases!

Sanek (shouting). Is that okay?

Ksyusha with disheveled hair in a nightgown skips on one leg, trying to put on pants. Fussing, getting dressed very quickly.

Ksyusha. Let him come, just don't pull me, I'm severely late!

Ksyusha runs off to get dressed further.

Sanek (into the phone). Hello? Vityai, are you still here? Listen… this… Do you know where my Ksyukha lives? Oh, yeah, how would you know. Here's my house, on the right hand side of the turn, you stopped by, right? And this is a little further down the same street. The last one before the intersection. Yes, with the letter "g". Everything is right. Apartment seventieth. The corner is the entrance. Are you driving? That's five minutes for you. Well, fifteen. It takes me an hour to get there, and you're done. Will you come? All. Yeah, yeah, I'm waiting.

Sanek (shouting). Vitek is coming now.

Ksyusha (shouting from the other room). Don't you have to go to work today?

Sanek (shouting). No, it's not my shift today.

Ksyusha (shouting from the other room). Why didn't you wake me up?

Sanek (shouting). Did you ask for it?

Ksyusha (shouting from the other room). Do you have your own head on your shoulders? Am I going to tell you everything all your life?

Sanek (shouting). I overslept myself!

Ksyusha, collected, jumps out, grabs her purse, kisses Sanka on the cheek.

Ksyusha. Okay, I'm forgiven. I ran, take charge.

Ksyusha runs away to work. Sanek stretches, washes, dresses, cleans himself up, waits for Victor to visit.

The doorbell rings. Sanek opens it. Victor enters with a folder in his hand.

Victor's appearance speaks about his success in everything.

Victor. Alexander! Greetings. How many years, how many winters.

They say hello.

Sanek. Come on, "fall" somewhere.

Victor. Are you alone?

Sanek. Ksyukha has already run away, and Nyurka generally gets up very early. I've been at work for a long time.

Victor. Ksyukha is your girlfriend, as I understand it. And Nyurka?

Sanek. A roommate.

Victor looks at Sanka uncomprehendingly.

Sanek. Not mine. Ksyukhina is a roommate. The two of them rent this hut.

Victor. Understood. Then we'll talk here?

Sanek. Well of course. Should I pour some coffee?

Victor. No, thanks, I don't need anything.

Sanek. Look. And I'll bite.

Sanek goes out for coffee, Victor sits down, takes out photos and some lists from a folder.

Sanek returns with a can of beer. He